An Open Letter To All The Young Women Trying To Get Ahead
Dear lovely lady in her twenties,
Has anyone ever told you that you’re doing a really good job? You are.
As an ambitious woman, you’ve worked so hard to get to where you are today.
You’ve had your fair share of doubts, highs and lows, tears and fears but here you are, in all your glory.
Years ago, you’d never thought that you’d be working in this job, in this town, with these people and yet this is your reality.
One minute you’re killing it and then two days later, it feels like you’re falling wayyyy behind – scrambling to get ahead.
You’ll look sideways, backwards, forwards just to see if you’re on the ‘right’ track but it doesn’t seem to alleviate that itch.
It’s that itch and need to be further along than you are.
You know, get to that next level, tick that box and finally ‘arrive’. Where? Who even knows!
I know that you’re a modern woman and what better way to find inspiration and motivation to keep going than our trusty friend – the internet!
However, I’ve noticed a trend evolve as I scroll through my social media feed. The same messages seem to pop up time and time again. Perhaps you’ve noticed these too? At first these messages are empowering but when they appear repeatedly, an unconscious guilt trip develops like some form of prickly heat rash.
“Stuck in an office job? Live a location independent lifestyle!”
“Quit your 9-5 job and stop working for the man”
“Join my team and make money whilst you sleep”
These things may be appealing but I’m afraid this is creating an unnecessary itch that doesn’t need to be scratched.
Everywhere you turn, you’re made to feel like success should feel effortless, fun – like you’re frolicking amongst a field of daisies feeling footloose and fancy free, except the reality is you’ve had plenty of face plants and your daisy chain keeps breaking.
Whilst the intention behind this freedom based message is designed to inspire you, I’m afraid it’s feeding the idea that you still need to get ahead.
There’s more money to be made.
More exciting boxes to tick.
More passport stamps to collect.
An ‘easier’ way and life exists…But is that what you’re truly searching for?
I know that there are plenty of different options for you to live and work but please know that one ‘lifestyle’ or way of living is no better than the other. Laptop or cubicle, suburb or city, baby or not – what if you simply embraced where you are right now? As the saying goes, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. It’s green where you water it.
I know you’ve got big dreams (I do too) but your 9-5 job is not the enemy.
Your boss is not the enemy.
And I promise you, you will not die a slow death working in an office. (I work from home now and gals, there’s pro’s and con’s to both!)
You don’t have to figure it all out right now (or yesterday) but you do have full permission to curiously pivot, transition, tumble or gracefully lean closer towards the things that excite and inspire you.
This takes time and despite how you feel – there’s no rush, no race and there’s certainly no direct roadmap on the ride to success. You don’t even have to quit your job! (Hurrah!)
Have you ever entertained the thought that you’re already a success? Have you taken the time to celebrate how far you have come?
If you feel like you’re treading water right now, perhaps I’ll put my life coaching hat on and pose these questions to you:
What’s currently working and what’s not? You can apply this question to your work, your health, your relationships – everything. This is a great place to start! And I know that when you answer this question honestly, the solutions will start to appear.
What skills, talents and gifts would you really, really like to use and share with the world? Are you using them in some form right now?
What is most important to you? Strip everything back and what’s left?
The problem is we’re so busy looking to everyone else for the answers when all we had to do was ask ourselves the right questions.
So my dear twenty something, I hope with all of my heart that whatever you end up doing – it’s meaningful to YOU. I hope that you can use your unique gifts and talents in a way that makes your heart swell without any need to push, or rush the process. I hope that you move forward with a sense of pride, joy, genuine care and love for not only how your life looks on the outside, but how it feels on the inside.
And please give yourself permission to pause and create space to uncover what’s truly right for you. Maybe you’ll learn something new? Maybe you’ll decide to move on? Maybe you’ll discover that thing that you really wanted, wasn’t what you wanted after all and maybe you’ll understand that with patience and persistance – dreams really do come true.
Lady, take one curious step in front of the other. Know that when you cut through all the bullshit of the should’s, the have-to’s and the comparison’s, when you drown out the external noise you’ll realise that it’s never been about getting ahead.
It’s about coming home to you.
PS. If you loved this post, would you mind sharing it around? I know a lot of twenty-something’s need to read this right now.