How To Stay Healthy, Happy + Sane (And Trust Yourself): The Wedding Series
Hello my fellow bridey’s,
I can’t believe it’s only 8 weeks until the big day. Yep, eight weeks (where did the time go!?) As you can tell, the original plan to write a monthly blog post for you kinda’ went out the window (sorry!) but I’m excited to share all that has unfolded in the past few months. Amongst wedding planning, we also bought our first home which has officially made 2016 the most EPIC year ever. In case you wanted to catch up on my previous instalments within this wedding series, you can head over here, here and here.
Now I’m no expert, but I really do hope that by sharing my experience with you, it helps to re-assure you that we all experience up’s and down’s – even throughout something as exciting as marrying your love.
I have most definitely loved planning our wedding (with the help of Jimmy and our dear family and friends), however no one really warns you about the wide range of emotions you may feel in the lead up. Every bride-to-be is different but I’m also sure that every single one of us will go through a period of self-doubt. And a few months ago, I was experiencing it big time!
I was questioning everything…
The number of guests that we had invited (it all felt like too much)
My dress (Did I like the style anymore?! Eek!)
The miniscule details (would it all come together?)
Whether it was ‘polite’ or not to have a wishing well (Will people think we’re greedy asking for money as a gift?)
The songs that we’ve chosen (What if someone has already taken ‘our’ song?)
And it went on and on and on…
Whilst all of this may seem superficial, one thing that I didn’t question was saying yes to marrying Jimmy – phew!
Time and time again, I’ve had to remind myself that whilst it can be an overwhelming task, this is simply a celebration of our love. The ‘wedding’ is not the main event. It’s one day in our entire lives (and day one of our marriage) which has certainly helped to take the pressure off and put things into perspective.
Maybe self-doubt has shown up in a myriad of different ways for you as a bride to be? If you’ve lost a loved one, this special time may bring up a lot of heartache and grief at the thought of them not being there. Perhaps there’s a swirling of anxiety in the pit of your stomach as you question, how the hell are we going to afford all of this?! And then there’s the temptation to rid yourself of all the ‘fluff’ and whisk yourself off to some secluded place and elope. The simplicity sure is tempting!
Whilst it may feel like there’s a million and one things to do, to consider, to question and worry about – please trust that you are doing the best that you can.
Please trust that it will all come together.
Please trust that on the day, you will not be worrying about whether you’ve chosen the right table setting or hair piece, or cutlery.
Trust that your first instinct is always right, trust your decisions and trust that there are people around you that are willing to support you (sometimes you just have to ask).
Trust that whilst not everything may go to plan, you will be ok, your future husband will be ok and everyone is there to celebrate…not judge, or comment on your choice of napkins.
Trust that you will walk away with the most beaming smile on your face, the fullest heart and the most profound love for your man and those you’ve chosen to celebrate with.
And if your heart is somewhat aching, or that feeling of anxiety washes over you – remember that YOU are not the only one going through this. There is TWO of you, so please lean on each other for support.
I know it’s easier said than done, but trusting yourself throughout the lead up to your wedding will bring you so much more ease and joy.
And whenever you get stuck, or you’ve realised you’ve spent far too many hours researching dresses (again!), ask yourself:
How can I make this process easier and more enjoyable for myself?
I trust that you will come up with your own answers!
Jimmy and I are getting married in my old high school chapel and because we’ve decided to marry in a church, a part of that requirement is to attend pre-marital counselling/education.
Now, most people I had spoken to didn’t have great things to say about this. ‘Good luck with that!’ they scoffed, or ‘That’s a whole day of my life that I’ll never get back’. Sounds really appealing doesn’t it? Except for the fact that we LOVED it.
Who doesn’t want to work on their marriage, before it’s even started?! As a lover of personal development, pre-marital counselling was seriously my jam. Ha! I walked away from the day thinking, why doesn’t every couple get to experience this? Covering topics on values, family of origin, conflict management and communication, finances, expectations surrounding sex, setting relationship goals and so much more – we walked away feeling so empowered and with an even deeper understanding about ourselves.
We did this through our local Centacare office here in Brisbane. Whilst I’m sure every course will be different, and will most likely vary between states and countries, I cannot highly recommend it enough. Choose a course that feels right for you and be open to it. We were pleasantly surprised!
With our day fast approaching, communication has really been key. Communication with each other, our families and our vendors has really helped to put my mind at ease. From our photographer, to our florist, knowing that we’re all on the same page has meant that I can put full trust in them to do their thing on the day.
I have loved meeting up with our special team of people and especially supporting small businesses within the local area. It gives me the warm and fuzzies just knowing that I am backing someone who has so much passion for what they do! Don’t be afraid to reach out to your people in the lead up if you need clarification, or a simply just want some reassurance. They are honestly more than willing to help and support you.
So there you have it. That’s it for now, but I promise to update you as we inch even closer to the big day. You can also stay tuned for a post wedding blog post, as I would love to share and celebrate all the people who helped bring our day all together.
Now over to you: Have you experienced doubt, fear or what I like to call ‘all the feelings’ in the lead up to your big day? What lessons have you learnt about yourself? And most importantly, what are you planning on doing to remain calm throughout the lead up and trust yourself? Writing lists and tackling things one by one has been my saviour. Oh and the odd facial has calmed the farm for this bride-to-be too! I would love to hear from you in the comments.
With love (and thanks for reading!),
Image Credit: Ben Rosett