Why It’s Important to Forge Your Own Path and Get A Little Messy
For years I’ve followed the crowd. I’ve happily been the team member and not the team leader. I’ve enjoyed taking direction and following processes and procedures. The perfectionist in me has absolutely relished in the feeling of fitting into the pretty box with the best ribbon and the packaging all neat and tidy. Just like all the other pretty boxes next to me.
But it was during a transition period a few years ago that I discovered that I was supposed to tread a completely different path. With the Bachelor’s degree hanging up on my wall I thought I had the entire world at my feet. After I scored the perfect job, I would then go on to earn the perfect income and buy the perfect house. Of course I would go on to marry the perfect guy and live happily ever after. Whilst this path still sounds really lovely, I never really made it past the ‘find the perfect job’ hurdle.
I kept following the path of safety and security and worked my arse off completing further study to make myself feel ‘worthy’ and more ‘educated’ for that perfect job. Until I realized that this path was actually leading me in the complete opposite direction to where I wanted to be. All the career paths I had considered had always felt nice, and looked good but never felt amazing. After following the crowd for so long, I knew I had to step outside of my comfort zone and get REAL with what I wanted. Of course I had trouble finding the perfect job because deep down inside – I knew I had to create it for myself. I had to combine all of my skills, all of my passions and all of my talents to create a life that I loved.
So where does that leave me in now? Well, everyday I am creating the life of my dreams and building my own business. It involves hard work, juggling jobs and I’m nowhere near close to buying a house but I freakin LOVE the fact that I am now a Life Coach and get to support people in the way that I have always imagined. I’ve stopped following the crowd and have been able to forge my own path and I want you to forge your own path too. Whilst at times it feels downright scary, majority of the time it feels good to be following my heart instead of the path that was expected of me. And you know what? It feels bloody amazing to get a little messy and make a right turn (instead of a left) because that’s what my gut is telling me.
So why do we struggle to forge our own path? What stops us from owning our desires and leading a life that truly fulfill us? I’ve got a few ideas from personal experience.
We don’t really enjoy ruffling anyone’s feather’s, including our own. I people pleased and built HUGE expectations upon myself to go to university. Whilst I loved every minute of uni, I look back and think every assignment that I handed in was configured to please someone else. I showed up at my job because I wanted to do the best job that I could – not necessarily for myself, but to please someone else. It’s awesome to be kind and considerate and do a good job, but people-pleasing means that we are forever chasing our tails for someone else.
2. Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)
This one still gets me, but fear of missing out is just another strategy that prevents us from forging our own path. We look at the majority of our friends who are travelling and we start to second guess ourselves – should I be travelling too? We see everyone saving up for the house deposit and think should I smarten up and buy a house too? We make decisions out of fear because we feel like we could be missing out on these potentially amazing experiences. Stop and ask yourself – is this really what I want, or is this just FOMO?
3. Too hard basket
For so long I put Life Coaching in the too hard basket but do you know what’s really hard and awful? Living a life that is full of meh moments. You can bring up every excuse under the sun, but if you take one single step towards the life that you’ve always dreamed of, I can guarantee that you will find another step, and another one and so on. Anything worth having is always going to bring up resistance, and yes things may get a little messy, but I can put my hand over my heart and tell you that it’s so worth it.
4. Assigning other people’s idea of success as your own
My idea of success is forever evolving but I know it’s so much more than having the big house and the wardrobe to die for. I believe we can all have these things (if we wholeheartedly want them) but what does success really mean to you? Instead of believing that success equates to a piece of paper or the Mr. or Mrs in front of your name, what if you looked outside of these tangible things? Success could be more about how you make people feel instead of what you actually produce? It could be more about getting up and showing up – every single time, even despite the knock backs.
Everybody has the choice to get swept in the crowd or to plant their feet firmly on the ground. Whatever you do – plant your feet where it feels good for you. Have the courage to make your mark and know that you have everything inside of you to lead, and not be led. You can forge your own path and I dare you to get a little messy. There’s actually a lot of fun to be had! Tell me in the comments below, have you found yourself on the wrong track before? What did you have to do to forge your own path?