Making Friends with Fear

leap of faith

Image via Trent Roche

Firstly, I have to apologise. The hay bails have been rolling silently and the crickets have been chirping here on the blog, but I promise I’ve got a good excuse! It has been one hell of a month, and originally I had decided to bring you my first ever video blog, BUT technology got the better of me. I knew that this message could not go unpublished though, so I finally found some time to get it all out. There’s been a bit of a turning point and it’s started to get a little serious. What has? Well, I have.

As some of you know, I am working full time, but also have many interests outside of work. Being a multi-passionate person, it can be difficult to know which hobby, interest, or activity to devote to in the limited time outside of working hours. However, the more time I have spent working on these passions, the more I have realized – what is actually stopping me from doing this all the time? Draw back the curtains and let me introduce you to fear. One of the major emotions that prevent us from pursuing what we truly desire.

Fear can show up in many forms – we can make decisions to prevent fear from popping up (eg. playing it safe), or it can overcome us when delving into unknown territory. Either way, it’s uncomfortable, it makes you squirm and it leaves you with an uneasy feeling. Surely that means that we should steer clear of fearful situations? Not always.

This month, feeling the fear has become a regular occurrence for me. There’s been days of angst, exhaustion and constant questioning. I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone, bared my soul and have taken risks that I never thought were possible. Yet I sit back now and say thank-you to fear for propelling me towards a path of clarity.  Let me give you a bit of a run-down of the terrifying, yet exhilarating roller coaster that fear has enabled me to embark on:

 1. My YouTube Debut

Last month, Marie Forleo’s online business program ‘B-School‘ opened up its doors for another year and it was calling my name. I’ve been watching her videos online for a little while now, and I’ve been drawn to her pizazz, her heart felt advice and clever tips to create a ‘business and life you love’. I knew B-School would be the perfect platform for me considering I have no idea where to start when it comes to running a ‘business’, and am completely clueless when it comes to marketing.

When I saw the opportunity to win a scholarship to B-School, I jumped at the chance. However, making a 90 second video application and posting it onto You-Tube was certainly out of my comfort zone. I have never uploaded a video onto YouTube before, let alone thought about what my ‘business’ would entail, but this exercise helped me to get super clear on who I am, what I do, and why I want to create a business. Despite the fear of putting myself out there for the whole world to see, I knew that the opportunity to be a part of B-School was far more important.

With sweaty palms and frantic energy, I sent my video application in. I couldn’t believe how difficult it was to condense everything that I wanted to say and do in a 90 second video, but as Marie says “everything is figureoutable”. With the help of my boyfriend, I managed to send in my video application within the 3 day time frame and crossed all my fingers and toes. You can check out the video here.

Whilst I didn’t win the scholarship, the entire process made me realise that we really can do anything if we set our mind to it. We can see fear as a barrier, or we can use it to our advantage to propel us into action.

2. Adding Life Coach to my List of Credentials

Making the video application for B-School really helped me to get crystal clear on what I wanted to achieve. Working as a life coach has always been something that I’ve been interested in, and finally being able to declare it to the world was so liberating. I completed a subject called ‘Coaching Individual’s for Behaviour Change’ at uni, and to this day, it has probably been the most valuable part of my degree. For so long I’ve been scared to delve into life coaching due to the fear of having to run my own business. Those self-sabotaging beliefs of “who would take you seriously?”, and “you could never earn money doing that” seriously got the better of me. However, not long after I had given up on the idea of B-School, an email came through. It was an incredible special on Julie Parker’s Beautiful You Coaching Academy, and I knew that it was time to take that leap. I had a chat with Julie and sat down later to work out whether I could go through with it financially. My throat had the biggest lump in it, and I felt sick to my stomach clicking that enrol now button, but I knew that I had to stop being scared and just do it. Since making that decision, I’ve felt so excited to have taken the plunge, and I cannot wait to start the course in June this year – woo hoo!

3. Full- Time to Part Time.

Another big and scary decision that I have had to make in the past month is my working arrangement. As I mentioned before, it can be difficult to fit in all of your passions whilst working full time. After signing up to do my life coaching course, I knew that I needed to give myself both the space and the time to start living out these passions. Financially, dropping down to part time hours scared the living daylights out of me. Could I really stay afloat and pay off this course? For me, time is what I needed more than money. I needed the time to devote to this new adventure as a life coach, and the energy to continue with my other passion in facilitating Groove dance classes. In the end, I didn’t want ‘money’ to be another excuse to not live out these dreams.

The thing is, fear will always be there. Even if you overcome a situation or a decision that has evoked fear, there will be another one waiting for you just around the corner. Don’t let it prevent you from taking action and don’t let it pressure you into thinking this is the ONLY way. Acknowledge it, and THANK fear. It is there to help you identify an area of your life that may need some extra attention. It is there to help you grow as a person, and become resilient in a world that can be full of so many set back’s. I know it’s scary.  It would be so easy to retreat and go back to the comfort and safety that predictability brings, but where’s the fun in that?

 “If you always did what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got” – Tony Robbins.

What is the worst thing that could happen? Seriously. I’ve realized now that living a life of regret would be a lot worse than being paralyzed by fear.  So tell me – where has fear popped up in your life lately? Did you feel the fear and do it anyway, or did you let it get the better of you?

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Showing 10 comments
  • lamar314
    Reply

    Very good read, the courage you took of moving from full time to part time is very inspiring, especially for something you have a passion for. As early 1900’s philosopher Alan Watts once said “Better to live a short life filled with what you like doing than a long life spent in a miserable way.”

    I recently wrote a similar post on “The Real You,” in which I try to show that we are all special and have the courage to make the tough choices for us to ultimiately be happy. I hope that it is as great a read to you as this post was for me: http://uncoveryourpotential.wordpress.com/2014/03/13/the-real-you/

    • nsciotto
      Reply

      Thanks so much Lamar and loved the read – it’s simple yet powerful reminders like that, that enable us to remember our true potential 🙂

  • stacey
    Reply

    Such a wholesome, truthful blog post Tash! Some of my friends enjoy reading them too, i didn’t know until the other day that they venture to see your posts after i “like” one. Jen finds them inspiring, so do I! I was tossing up whether to commence a writing/editing course; but the thought of money was holding me back! You have just changed my reservations and considerations. Although i have no desire to pursue life coaching, i believe your knowledge has such powerful messages for me. You are doing amazing work, keep it up and thank you!

    • nsciotto
      Reply

      Oh Stace that really means a lot. Thank you! For me, knowing that others may have similar experiences/fears just proves how liberating it is to acknowledge it. I love that you are thinking about doing a writing course and money is a HUGE thing can set us back, but acknowledging the fear makes us realize it’s not the dream that’s scary (the writing course) it’s changing our mindset (towards money). Its certainly something I am working on. Please keep me posted 🙂

  • Lisa Hatherly
    Reply

    Great post Tash – I think the concept that fear will always be there is a great reminder. The fearful mindset is always that fear has to be avoided or conquered – but I think that the success mindset could be that fear needs to be accepted – and as you say “thanked”. There is a great book called The Tools by Phil Stutz and Barry Michels and it lists a tool called “The reversal of desire” which essentially means that you should embrace fear and head straight into the situation like you would run through the crashing waves to get wet and get over that really cold moment. Because on the other side of fear is the most amazing endless possibilities. With all your fear embracing there is definitely wondrous things ahead for you <3

    • nsciotto
      Reply

      Thanks Lisa, it’s so true about the analogy of diving head first into the water – always resistance at the start but the minute you do it, you feel so alive and glad that the hard part is over ha! I will have to look into that book, it sounds great. Thank you 🙂

  • rachellehawken
    Reply

    What a beautiful post Tash xx

    • nsciotto
      Reply

      Thanks lovely lady, finally got it out (took a little while!)

  • Bec Van Leeuwen
    Reply

    I love this Tash. Fear is totally our friend! She is with us on our first day of school, she’s there when we wait to be picked for a bull rush team, she’s there again when we talk to that boy we like, and then when we kiss him for the very first time, she’s by our side when we start Uni, begin a new job, walk into a party by ourselves or go on a date. Any time we step outside our comfort zone she is right there with us. When you think about it… she’s kind of like our super geeky, overly cautious bff.

    • nsciotto
      Reply

      It’s so true Bec and yes let’s put a new spin on it, and call fear our overly cautious bff! Will be so much easier to acknowledge it when it pops up next time x

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