Questioning Everything? Your Saturn Return Could Be Here!
Ever since I was a little girl, I couldn’t wait to grow up and officially enter adulthood. Hanging out with my older cousins on weekends and seeing them go out/get their driver’s license/get their first jobs gave me a ‘taste’ of the freedom and fun that was to come with getting older.
Now that I’m well and truly in the throes of adulthood, I wish I could turn to my younger self and say, “Kid, why the bloomin’ heck did you want to wish your life away? You had it good!” I am 100% on board with the fact that getting older is a privilege, but as I inch my way closer towards my thirties, I know that I’m not alone when I catch myself thinking; Shouldn’t I be feeling more capable and confident by now?
Despite the pride I feel in seeing many life-long dreams come to fruition, it still hasn’t stopped me from whispering ‘WTF am I even doing?’ on a daily basis. And as I’ve discovered, there’s a very good reason why this constant questioning and self-doubt is coming to a head.
Enter a little thing called…’Saturn Return’.
Yes, I’m talking about planets and astrology here but before you roll your eyes – hear me out. I had heard about this concept a few years ago from some fellow blogging friends but it only hit me recently that I could well and truly be experiencing the growing pains of this slightly turbulent phase.
For those of you who have never heard of it, the lovely Astrotwins describe it as a time of advancing into a new stage of adulthood:
“Saturn takes approximately 29.5 years to complete one full orbit around the sun and return to the same zodiac sign it was in when you were born. The first Saturn Return which can happen between the ages of 27 and 30 is a bit like a cosmic bar mitzvah…welcoming you into your more mature role here on Earth”
Still with me? Ok, good. In other words, it’s a period of time that enables you to come full circle, stop fluffing around and step into the person that you’ve always wanted to be.
I’m naturally a curious person and have always been open to anything that helps me make sense of what’s going on in my inner and outer world – that’s why this whole concept is helping me to feel less cray and completely ease up on myself. Please know that your Saturn Return should not be used as an excuse to every single problem that comes your way! Instead, see it as an opportunity to help you uncover and re-discover your full, whole self as a twenty-something. Sounds and feels much better, doesn’t it?
Some common thoughts and feelings that might signify the start of your own Saturn Return are:
- You’re starting to question what you REALLY want in life. Not the luke-warm, that would be nice attitude towards your career/relationships/livelihood, but you’re starting to assess your full-blown, let’s not hold back, desires. This may/may not be matching up to your current reality which can often contribute to that inner turmoil.
- The feeling that your biological clock is ticking and that you’re running out of time. Whilst it may not be entirely true (age is just a number!), the idea that it’s ‘now or never’ when it comes to going after what you want is getting harder to ignore.
- The lessons that have tapped you on the shoulder throughout majority of your twenties are now becoming louder and louder, encouraging you to face them head on. Is it time to say goodbye to constant people-pleasing, over-exhausting yourself or toxic people? Those lessons will be showing up for you big time in order to heal and finally let them go.
If you’re nodding your head saying YES to any of these things, please know it’s not all doom and gloom. Coming out the other side of your Saturn Return and feeling like the new and improved 0.2 version of yourself is still somewhat of a marathon, not a sprint (they say it can take anywhere up to 2-3 years to complete), however I’ve loved reading articles like this one and this one, to help put things into perspective and context.
Besides, I’m right here with you riding out these ebbs and flows so let’s focus on a few things that we can do to support ourselves and most importantly, FEEL comfortable with the uncomfortable.
Seriously, when was the last time you took a full, deep belly breath? Do it right now. Whether it’s writing an email or rushing to get to the supermarket, holding your breath is like signalling to your body that you’re entering danger zone. Eek! Take a few moments out of your day to notice your breathing and how you’re feeling. If you’re sensing tightness in your chest or there’s a knot in your stomach, this is a sign to get still and breathe. If you haven’t been able to get into a regular meditation practice or hit the yoga mat, now could be the perfect time to slow that monkey mind – or if you really struggle to sit still, going for a walk outside in nature is my version of meditation. Either way, do what you need to do to tune back in.
We can talk all day long about our hopes and dreams but one way to figure out whether they actually live up to the expectations in our mind is to go ahead and do something about it. Harsh, but true! I’m not immune to making excuses but isn’t it time we called bullshit and create space for these passions to evolve? Use this restless energy to dabble and give things a red hot go. Whether it’s training for a marathon, taking your love of flowers to the next level by enrolling in a floristry course, or saving up for that overseas adventure – Coldplay said it best, “If you never try, you’ll never know”. And if you’re feeling overwhelmed at the thought of where to start – start small. In fact, that’s the best place to start to build your confidence and carry that momentum.
Set Loving Boundaries
When you’re feeling vulnerable with all kinds of emotions as you navigate this phase, it’s important to set some loving boundaries for yourself. Think about where your energy is going and how you can firm up those boundaries to support yourself even more. Do you need to become extra vigilant with who you spend time with, who you’re following on social media and how you spend your down time? Check in and see what’s truly nourishing you because the things that once worked for you may not apply this time round. If work/life balance is feeling a little non-existent, what can you do to fully step out of work mode, and allow yourself to chill out and be?
Throughout your Saturn Return you’ll most likely be questioning your identity and how you show up as a daughter, wife/girlfriend, sister, friend, employee (the list goes on)- so before you make any rash decisions, spend some time thinking about the expectations that you place upon yourself within these roles. Can you surrender anything that doesn’t make you feel good and invite more of the good stuff in? Do you need to communicate more honestly with your loved ones so they can be on board too?
If nothing is easing that part of you that wants to squirm, rage or cry, please be extra kind and gentle with yourself. There will be times when you’ll be celebrating yourself for the big leaps you’ve taken and then there will be times when you feel like you’ve made no progress whatsoever – put your party hat on and celebrate anyway. Like an onion peeling back it’s layers, you’re learning more about yourself and that can only be a good thing when it comes making whole-hearted, meaningful decisions.
Convincing yourself that everyone else is ‘better’ and believing that negative internal chatter within your mind is not a space that you want to reside in for too long. Reach out, talk it out, write it out, hug it out and find healthy ways to move through the inevitable funk. Most importantly, cling onto the simple pleasures and moments of gratitude that will bring you back down to earth. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems. You’re perfectly normal, human and whole and we’re all in this together!
If you happen to be nodding your head to all the above, then I’d love to hear from you. Does it feel like you’re questioning everything at the moment? What action are you inspired to take right now to step fully into the person that you want to be? And if you’d like some support to course correct and finally take action on those dreams that are bubbling away, you can find out more about coaching with me.