The Year That I Let Go Of Being Perfect
Here we are… December 2017. This year’s been a
shitter ripper hasn’t it?
I know that 2017 has felt particularly challenging for some, and in true transparent Tash style, I’m putting my hand up! If that’s the case for you too, please know this is nothing to be too worried about. In fact, I’d go as far to say that it’s worth celebrating. We’re all cyclical beings that go through many different seasons and it’s inevitable that we’ll have some ‘WTF just happened?’ moments scattered along the way.
From the outside, 2017 ‘looked’ perfect. Having settled into married life after our wedding and enjoying the comforts of being in our new home, it’s safe to say that this year was shaping up to be fine and dandy. It was and is! But to put it simply… I was exhausted.
I started out the year not having made too many grand plans in life and biz (except for re-launching this website!) and I soon realised that having no concrete plans was probably THE best plan. This year, a deep healing called for my attention which made way for some epic, yet beautiful and necessary inner shifts. Here’s what went down:
+ I saw a psychologist for 6 months of the year to help make sense of my inner world and the ‘what next?’ feeling after all the excitement and change of last year. I can’t even begin to tell you how wonderful I feel as a result from all the tears, cups of tea + talking.
+ I learnt that it’s ok to be vulnerable, to let go of shame or the need to be ‘perfect’ and squashed the belief that I needed a ‘better’ reason to seek the support that I needed. You can be highly functioning whilst being a hot mess too. We’re human! And I know I’m a better coach for that too.
+ I discovered just how beautiful, safe and wonderful my own support network is. I’m so grateful for my loved ones who have supported me throughout many snotty, cough splutters, and the friends who have listened and offered up unconditional love and comforting words when I needed them the most.
+ I holidayed overseas (Paris is always a good idea!) And singing at the top of my lungs with a bunch of fellow Beautiful You coaches on a boat was absolute heaven. I’ve had some of the BEST moments of my life with the BYCA crew this year (including a gorgeous weekend away retreating, laughing and being in the presence of some of my favourite women). Yep, you can have fun amongst the tears too.
+ I learnt that no matter what uncomfortable feelings, internal expectations or pressures I was placing upon myself – courageously communicating and speaking up about what’s working (and what’s not) has been liberating . A big hello and thanks to my Saturn Return for highlighting these lessons for me!
+ As someone who claims to support people to stop being so darn hard on themselves, (especially when it comes to the pressures of where we ‘should’ be in life) – I learnt that I needed to eat my own advice for breakfast, lunch AND dinner. Yes it’s great to teach what we most need to learn, but I’ve also had to give myself the time and space to embody this completely. In case you need it, here’s your virtual permission slip to not be positive and perky 100% of the time too.
+ And finally, I came to understand these divine, healing words from Danielle LaPorte.
“You can be deeply certain, and slightly doubtful. You can be scared and really, really ready”
This couldn’t be more true when I started to dial down the fear-based thoughts in my head and listen closely to those whispers in my heart that questioned ‘are you REALLY doing what you love?’ Hosting my very own ‘Celebrate Yourself’ workshop in Brisbane definitely confirmed that I thrive most when I’m connecting, sharing and supporting people in person (more of that please!)
I know my personal experiences of this year may be different to yours, but I hope that by sharing these trials and triumphs, you can start to unravel and dismantle the need to be ‘perfect’ too. It’s ok if 2017 didn’t turn out to be your ‘best year ever!’ – what’s most important is that you look upon this year and yourself with loving eyes and a kind heart.
It’s about embracing the in-between moments and being at peace with where you are right now – even if the path forward doesn’t always seem so clear. I liken it to that time as a kid when you first learnt how to swing yourself through a set of monkey bars. As you keep practicing, there’s always going to be that split-second, mid-air when you’re grasping for the next bar, unsure whether you’ll firmly hold that grip, or fall flat on your face.
It’s in that very moment that you truly discover your own strength and grit. And I hope with all of my heart that you’ve come to learn just how capable you are – one swinging monkey grip at a time.
Whilst my plans aren’t fully formed for 2018 (yet!), I do have have the biggest fire in my belly to support you dear twenty-something. Thank you for reading and being here as we navigate these transitions – together.
Let’s close out the year knowing you did good! You made it. And please know that you don’t have to wait for another brand new year to tick over before you can course correct. Anything and everything is possible (if you choose to see it that way), no matter what day, date or time of the year it is!
Onwards and upwards.
Ps. After all the processing and integrating of 2017 (phew!), I’ll be opening up my coaching calendar for new clients in the new year. If you’d like to find out more about my coaching packages or book in for a complimentary chat with yours truly, you can check out all the details over here. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you lovely one!